In an ill-advised late night screening, a fifth 2018 movie: the classic "Ready Player One" (dir: Steven Spielberg)

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#iamplayerone #whosgonnabeatme #nevergonnagameover #lol #rofl #lmao

Hi I'm Alan and I'll be commenting on this film. Note there is a risk I may fall asleep at some point here. #rpo18

Hello Hervey Okkles here; I have not seen this, not exactly looking forward to this, but we'll see

Kinda feeling deep dread and ennui #rpo18

JUMP! #rpo18

Didn't know this was an Ohio movie, I retract everything negative I said #rpo18

2027 is after the bandwidth riots! #rpo18

Imagine climbing Mt. Everest with BATMAN! That'd be so sick. #rpo18

This is pretty annoying, but I have to give Spielberg a lot of credit for creating images with real gravity #rpo18

SO DENSE! Dense film. #rpo18

Dare I say it: this is the perfect 2018 film. #rpo18

There's something weirdly nostalgic that this envisioned future depends upon cheap human labor, and the idea of bots/ai is unthinkable #rpo18

PARZIVAL, sick license plate. #rpo18

Sick "Welcome to Marwen" (2018) reference #rpo18

These IOI sixers don't have very effective cars. #rpo18

"I've seen all her walkthroughs, her Twitch streams. It's her!" #ClassicMovieLines #rpo18

It's a Rampage (2018) situation! #rpo18

Can't get past Kong! #rpo18

It's honestly very wearying that something is so simultaneously annoying and boring, and also very technically competent #rpo18

I feel like everybody (well, except for the corp peons) are kinda unrealistically thrill-seeking, given that death in the game loses all your possessions #rpo18

Gotta seek the thrills to pay the bills! #rpo18

God, this Halliday lore dialogue is so fucking bad #rpo18

They're Halliday nerds, whaddaya want. #rpo18

Fun bed on top of the washing machine. #rpo18

It's kinda touching that the "real world" element of the movie is perpetually 1983, in the world of Spielberg, this is the last fully realized way the world has been #rpo18

This seems like a pretty annoying search engine UX #rpo18

Pretty cool backwards level! #rpo18

EZ! #rpo18

It does seem unrealistic that this wouldn't be discovered sooner #rpo18

And in general, everybody plays and largely dies in this racing game that nobody has won, for years? Seems pretty stupid that they just all race in a normal way, considering #rpo18

Hell yeah, good to have an X1 haptic boot suit. #rpo18

CEO's gaming lounge chair is so fucking sick, would be great if he used it for anything cooler than gaming #rpo18

Great CEO and mercenary banter. #rpo18

That Ir0k scene was about as bad as I could imagine this movie being

Didn't even look good, just very dire #rpo18

Damn, this search engine sucks, it even lies to you #rpo18

It's Ask Jeeves, fyi #rpo18

The character is Jeevesian, but he's only a small component of this large bad search engine #rpo18

Feeling very tired, spiritually #rpo18

This scene is basically my experience in Second Life. #rpo18

Second Life is so much better than this #rpo18

What are the chances Artemis lives in the Ohio area? Actually pretty good, since it contains the largest city in the world now. #rpo18

Artemis has the sort of skills, sophistication, and grindset that gives her away as an obvious Ohioan #rpo18

Wade should definitely take this deal, it will give him everything he wants #rpo18

Penthouse apartment in Columbus with a high-speed connection sounds lovely. #rpo18

This fucking sucks #rpo18

(To clarify, I was referring to the part in which my soul briefly died, in which Parsifal said "Wow, that's so cool", to the idea of remodeling every school to look like replicas of the Breakfast Club and/or Ferris Bueller) #rpo18

Aunt Alice down! #rpo18

If I wanted to murder someone, I'd probably just murder them instead of telling them all the actionable plans I have re: murdering them #rpo18

It's Artemis, and she's hot! What a relief. #rpo18

wtf are you talking about, she's disgustingly disfigured #yuck #artemisisadud #wreckedface #rpo18

Gotta hand it to Halliday, his film-tracking techniques are pretty solid #rpo18

Somehow the environment graphics just got photoreal when they stepped into The Shining. #rpo18

I'd take this sort of uncanny/technically exquisite/soulless recreation of a movie over just a bunch of dialogue-based references, but I still struggle to see why this is exists #rpo18

Wow, making the old lady more necrotic and having a knife improved on the original, scarier now #spielbergdidit #rpo18

Z definitely should've watched The Shining before attempting this. #rpo18

Oh no, the ballroom is bad now

Also, I don't really understand the countdown timer, can they only play this once, or what? #rpo18

Halliday's avatar is super cool #rpo18

Everybody's got these very cool and practical transparent monitors. #rpo18

Very very wearying

I do believe that the basic lack of grounding for "what's possible irl"/"what's possible in the Oasis" holds the movie back, suspense is impossible, everything always feels like a deus ex machina #rpo18

Risked a positive drone ID at the farmer's market! Classic mistake. #rpo18

I've been to the Columbus farmer's market, it's worth it #rpo18

"Sho, you're the world's most bad-ass eleven-year old ever!"

#ClassicMovieLines #rpo18

The Oasis has better rules than most metaverse concepts. It has a common currency and stakes if you die / lose. Most actual metaverse attempts get that wrong and have no stakes. #rpo18

Yeah, as far as a place to spend, it seems pretty good

But as far as an environment to set stories to make movies out of, it's a little too ad hoc #rpo18

Standing in line to play the Atari seems fun #rpo18

It's an Inception situation! #rpo18

This is why you shouldn't allow holograms in the real world, it creates confusing situations like this #rpo18

Very poor design in this prison cube #rpo18

B055MAN69, good password. #rpo18

"I am Parzival, First to the Key" #ClassicMovieLines #rpo18

This is all very wearying #rpo18

Parsifal is going so damn viral #rpo18

A bit odd of IOI to have their office of the CEO in the same building as their loyalty center. #rpo18

There are many odd choices in this firm's operations, including many choices of lax security #rpo18

Lot of nonsense happening #rpo18

LET'S GOOOOOOOO #rpo18

I'm learning so many fun factoids while watching this movie #rpo18

Mecha-Godzilla multi-ball! #rpo18

Oh damn it's a mechagodzilla, they have no chance now #rpo18

They got ALL the IP. #rpo18

This is so wearying #rpo18

I take back the nice things I said earlier; this may be the first entirely bad action sequence I've seen from Spielberg

Sure, it may be more visually coherent than, say, a MCU thing, but there isn't any gravity here #rpo18

It's not about gravity. It's about showcasing intellectual property. #rpo18

Seems like more characters should have big avatars if H can just be the Iron Giant #rpo18

It took H years and a lot of hard work to build the Iron Giant! #rpo18

Wow, this is still going on #rpo18

He saved all his really sick consumable items (e.g. Holy Hand Grenade) for when they were really necessary. #rpo18

He did a Hadouken! Sick. #rpo18

Ugh #rpo18

Nice Doritos bag there. #rpo18

"I am Toshiro, you know me as Daito." #ClassicMovieLines #rpo18

Is this movie really only 2h20m? I feel like we must have blown through that a long while ago #rpo18

Trips keys! Sick! #rpo18

Mark Rylance as Halliday is the only person who really elevates this at all, he's got awful material to work with, but is really touching #rpo18

Cool that The Oasis is entirely controlled from a replica of Halliday's childhood bedroom. #rpo18

Columbus PD: the real heroes here #rpo18

"I'm not like Halliday. I'm taking the leap. <kiss>" #ClassicMovieLines #rpo18

They call it the greatest romance scene of all time #rpo18

CEO Is FUCKED!!! #rpo18

Oh my god, this fucking sucks so much #rpo18

Everyone's happy, bad guy is in the cop car. Love a good clean wrap-up. #rpo18

Revenge from Mars arcade cabinet in Parzival and Artemis' apartment. Very weird pinball machine! #PinballDeepCuts #rpo18

I was dreading this, but this was much worse than even I expected

I feel physically ill #rpo18

I think it was longer than we thought it was. #rpo18